“I don’t have plans and schemes
And I don’t have hopes and dreams
I don’t have anything
Since I don’t have you”
The Skyliners released those lyrics in “Since I Don’t Have You” in 1958.The skies had indeed brightened from the dark clouds of World War II and Camelot was on the horizon. It was a time of romance where it was perfectly normal for a guy to forego just about everything else in his life to pine over a lost love.
“You’re so fine, you’re so fine
You’re mine, you’re mine
I walk, and I talk, about you”
“You’re So Fine” from the Falcons came a year later and continued this theme of being “all-in” when it comes to romance. People would go on dates, to dances or dinner or movies. Do it often enough and you would be “going steady” and wearing his class ring.
And without question there was an element of possession, noted in the Jo Stafford classic “You belong to Me:”
“See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sun rise on a tropic isle
But just remember, darling, all the while
You belong to me”
I haven’t talked to them about this directly but I’ve a pretty good idea what my teenage daughters would think about the concept of “belonging” to a guy.
Lovers and dreamers who walk and talk constantly about someone, who feel that they don’t have anything without someone might have been called romantic in the 50’s.
Today they’d be called creepy.
My girls and their peers rarely date one-on-one, preferring the less-awkward comfort of a larger group. Many of their conversations are by text, short and in code.
Don’t get me wrong. As a Dad I prefer my kids safe rather than sorry. I would hope they would stay away from people who think they own them regardless of where they are on the planet.
But there’s a cost that comes from that jaded cynicism, that loss of innocence that was attached to those romantic pop songs of fifty years ago.
Today it’s more likely the girls will meet someone at a place like EHarmony, the Brave New World’s answer to yesterday’s dance floor.